if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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