i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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