i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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