btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
