it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Randomize
