Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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