As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
