Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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