he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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