My hand turned me down
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
