talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
