you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
