somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
