This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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