Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
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maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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