oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
