thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
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PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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