I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Randomize
