Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
