would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think your dad took our porno
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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