So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
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He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
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He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize