Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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