My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
