literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
