So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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