I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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