My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
