apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
