my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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