What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize