Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.

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(386): View more from Florida

you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.

Fav 18 1194 4555
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.

Fav 5 1194 2623
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(702): View more from Nevada

Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.

Fav 23 1337 5020
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(719): View more from Colorado

Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great

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(607): View more from New York

I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often

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