I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
