So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
