I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw