I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.