You work out of a Hotel?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!