please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So apparently I’m into choking now
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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