Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom

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(818): wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom http://tfl.nu/7ros

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(317): View more from Indiana

I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex

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(317): I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex http://tfl.nu/t943

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(301): View more from Maryland

Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?

(760): View more from California

You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.

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(301): Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room? (760): You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet. http://tfl.nu/jiuf

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

(617): View more from Massachusetts

then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

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(617): he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant (617): then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him. http://tfl.nu/q2li

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(480): View more from Arizona

just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.

(1-480): View more from Arizona

i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.

(480): View more from Arizona

k i'll be over in 5.

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(480): just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds. (1-480): i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice. (480): k i'll be over in 5. http://tfl.nu/rkxl

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now

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(603): I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now http://tfl.nu/6uxz

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.

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(781): Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night. http://tfl.nu/qv6r

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(909): View more from California

Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?

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(909): Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs? http://tfl.nu/r8li

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(763): View more from Minnesota

using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think

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(763): using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think http://tfl.nu/9ucc

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(845): View more from New York

Drunk

(845): View more from New York

Deyhxbr

(845): View more from New York

Fucaerrrrr

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(845): Drunk (845): Deyhxbr (845): Fucaerrrrr http://tfl.nu/ddt4

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(760): View more from California

He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?

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(760): He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite? http://tfl.nu/b780

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick

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(484): Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick http://tfl.nu/a0s8

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(847): View more from Illinois

He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.

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(847): He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris. http://tfl.nu/t2sy

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(805): View more from California

Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?

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(805): Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later? http://tfl.nu/nvl3

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(517): View more from Michigan

I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs

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(517): I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs http://tfl.nu/fis6

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