wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.