for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.