you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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