You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
