Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
