My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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