To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
