road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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