Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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