Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
