before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
