I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
