After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
