Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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