Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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