i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize