Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
