I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize