Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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