so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
