it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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