yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
