so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
