Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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