Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
