mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
