o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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