I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
