Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
