My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
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ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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