Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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