I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
