Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
