I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
