and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
