You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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