forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
