pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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