She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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