found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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