if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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