I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize