this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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