He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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