dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
